Gratitude....

**Warning** This is more of a "journal" post for myself. And is very long!

God has been good to me! As I sit here listening to my cute little boy Sawyer playing in the play room and making cute noises, I think about this past year.

I didnt want to move to Kansas. I LOVED Washington. I grew up in Snohomish, about 1/2 hr north of where we lived. I remember driving by/through Issaquah growing up and telling myself "this is where I want to live" when I am grown and have kids of my own. And thats where we were. And I loved it. I have so many good friends there. I loved the schools. My kids had good friends. We were in the "Celestial" ward that was seriously the best ward ever! Dont believe me? Go to it for a few months and you will say the same thing.

A year ago I was not happy. We lived in this place called Kansas. I felt alone. I didnt have my friends. I didnt go to the wonderful ward that I had gone to for the past 6 years. I was missing the Relief Society Progressive dinner with all my friends. I ALREADY missed the wonderful Super Saturday where we always got to make fun things for our homes. I was thinking about the AWESOME Relief Society Retreat that I looked so forward to every June at an awesome home full of FUN and WONDERFUL friends, eating yummy food, listening to great speakers like Emily Watts and our Stake Presidency, laughing at each other while doing Dance Dance Revolution, Karaoke, roasting marshmellows outside at the fire sitting by the waterfall....and all this while in our pajamas and till midnight! I was thinking about the strength I gained from being a part of this ward, as a ward we had gone through many trials together! We were truly one big family.

And, we left our Grandma Sue. UGH is all I have to say about that. How much fun it was for the kids to have a Grandma close by. They went to her house every Friday night, even spent the night in their room they had at her house sometimes. And she was so fun to be around.

I love Washington and my friends there. I have wonderful memories and I seriously ACHED to move back. WE left a wonderful place.

I was sad, depressed, lonely a year ago. But I am so grateful too as I think about how Heavenly Father has helped me to find JOY here. To see the good. I have been blessed to have 4 amazing wonderful kids. And the most amazing husband ever! How I love him! I am grateful I no longer ACHE to go back. Do I miss it? Yes! Do I miss my friends? Yes! But....

I am grateful that I can sit here today and remember those sad feelings I have had in the past and know that they are no longer with me. I have made friends here. My kids love it here. The school is the most amazing school EVER.

I am grateful for the hard year I have had and how I can look back and see how I have grown, been strengthened and tested.

I am blessed. And this I am grateful for...to look back at when I have those hard days and see how my Heavenly Father loves each of us!